Tag Archives: diagnosis

Juggling two compulsions. Why do I have to try?


I’m rather pissed off, mostly at myself. After my session this week, the thought of my responsibility in my own healing must have become rather weighty. I wasn’t immediately aware of it until my behavior changed. It seems that I … Continue reading

Posted in Child Abuse, Child Molestation, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Waking up disturbed, trying to relax and feeling disconnected


I woke up this morning and was pretty disgusted with myself for indulging in compulsive behavior recently. I think for a while I kind of just gave up and thought that since I’m a slut I might as well enjoy … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Intimacy, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I must not be as cavalier as I thought


I always tell my husband that I never worry about my health. I tell him that my curse in life is to have annoying things wrong with me that can’t be explained but cause lots of problems for me. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, Child Abuse, depression, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

What happens you try to be nice? People don’t change, that’s what.


The other day I decided to call someone I used to consider a friend. If you’ve read this blog for a while, she was the one who told me that people who are sexually abused should just “get over it” … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Family Relationships, Incest, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Why am I surprised to feel a feeling?


Maybe it’s because I’ve been so disconnected lately, I don’t know, but it took me by surprise today to realize that I feel depressed, at least I feel depressed today. I haven’t felt a lot recently so I can’t speak for the other … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, fibromyalgia, Incest, Mania, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments