Tag Archives: journal

Co-conscious with anger during session, feeling weird and unsafe


I just got home from therapy a few minutes ago and I’m feeling really vulnerable. During the session I talked about trying to access my emotions and I told my therapist that there was a new presence connected with anger … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Multiple Personalities, self-harm, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

I must not be as cavalier as I thought


I always tell my husband that I never worry about my health. I tell him that my curse in life is to have annoying things wrong with me that can’t be explained but cause lots of problems for me. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, Child Abuse, depression, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Frustration, agitation and more “tions”


Out of many things that have happened, I will write about one. I had my second appointment with the rheumatologist and things went south and then sideways. He’s not sure I have Sjogren’s but my blood work came back with “interesting” results. He … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, bipolar disorder, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Meds, Mental Health, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

What happens you try to be nice? People don’t change, that’s what.


The other day I decided to call someone I used to consider a friend. If you’ve read this blog for a while, she was the one who told me that people who are sexually abused should just “get over it” … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Family Relationships, Incest, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Why am I surprised to feel a feeling?


Maybe it’s because I’ve been so disconnected lately, I don’t know, but it took me by surprise today to realize that I feel depressed, at least I feel depressed today. I haven’t felt a lot recently so I can’t speak for the other … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, fibromyalgia, Incest, Mania, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments