I think I’m scared (I guess)


I am completely lost in this territory. Trying to deal with and come to terms with having DID very different from dealing with bipolar disorder for some reason. It seems the bipolar stuff I can understand more and process easier and I’m very familiar with it, having been diagnosed for 9 years. I get bipolar disorder. I understand it. I can tell when I’m rapid cycling or having rapid thoughts, when I’m experiencing bipolar depression or mania etc. This DID stuff? I’m out of my depth here. I think I’ve been feeling scared but it comes in weird spurts. Very strong, very short bursts of fear. And then it’s gone. But afterwards I feel confused and off-balance. Yuck! I hate this…and now I’m whining! Yuck again! I hate whining and I can’t stand people who whine for no good reason, like because they stubbed their toe or have a toothache or broke a heel on their favorite shoes or because they couldn’t get in to get a manicure (yes I know people like that). Am I being mean? Am I throwing a pity party for myself? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I cannot become a whiner, it’s not acceptable. Alright I’m going to stop whining and do something else with my time…

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, depersonalization, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, Social Security Disability, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to I think I’m scared (I guess)

  1. meredith says:

    Your situation would not qualify under the YES YOU’RE BEING WHINY WHEN… category. Really.

  2. castorgirl says:

    Yeah sorry, but you’re going to have to ramp it up a few thousand watts before you get anywhere near whiney. If anything, you’re being mean on yourself… you’re learning about DID, and that can be scary and confusing. That is normal and to be expected. Go gently on yourself…

    Take care,
    CG

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