New doubt about myself…


Now I’m doubting myself again. I’m wondering if my mother was right, she always said I was overly sensitive. Was she right? Did she actually do nothing wrong and it’s just me? What are normal families like? I have no frame of reference…

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
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5 Responses to New doubt about myself…

  1. castorgirl says:

    If you were more sensitive, and they knew it, why didn’t they treat you accordingly?
    Why did your mother keep on as she was?
    Why does she use phrases that are aimed at making you feel small, immature and with a huge power imbalance?
    Why didn’t she alter her parenting to suit your “sensitive nature”?
    Why weren’t you referred to counselling if you were so sensitive?

    I don’t believe you were too sensitive. Maybe you were more sensitive than the average child, but then look at your past. Basic theory of attachment would mean that you probably felt unsure and insecure in the world around you. That would mean that you are more likely to be sensitive.

    What matters now, is how you deal with your reactions to what happened in the past. In many ways, your sensitivity is a moot point (and a great diversionary/minimisation tactic by your mother). How you reacted, is how you reacted. Now, you have to heal from the reaction.

    Take care,
    CG

    • CimmerianInk says:

      I guess I’m trying to come to grips with the fact that based on what I’ve told my therapist about what happened to me, she says that what I experienced was “horrific”. I’ve always believed I was abused but I never thought it was “horrific”. My therapist has heard about many, many things that happened over many, many years, until I was able to move out and she says what happened was terrible. When she says that I just look at her and I feel nothing. I shrug and I say “Oh well”. Maybe my mother’s tactic worked on some level and for a moment, just a moment, I believed her instead of the truth.

    • CimmerianInk says:

      Thank you. I’m getting a grip again and not letting the mind tricks work on me. I was not overly sensitive, I was way to aware of how much the world can suck.
      Sending you a hug for the nice thought and comments 🙂

  2. CimmerianInk says:

    Totally makes sense 🙂

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