My mother won’t leave me alone! You give an inch they take a f&#@!’n yard!

Every since I agreed to see her this weekend things have changed. It’s my fault. I’m so stupid. I felt bad for her. Then within a couple of days my step-father left her and she cancelled the visit. I was happy about the canceling but I felt bad for her. I wrote her an email expressing sincere sympathy for what happened, even though their relationship has been dysfunctional from the beginning. She met him because he was married to her first cousin and they had an affair. Gross! After my sympathy email. She wrote me again and then she wrote again about some random thing she saw on the street. And then she wrote again this morning because my step-father came back (I knew that would happen). And just now, the phone rings and she’s freakin’ calling me from work! I just listened to her voicemail and she’s like ‘Can we still visit? We won’t bring up what happened with us we’ll just have a fun visit, unless of course you want to bring it up which is fine.’ A “fun” visit is not possible it never has been. She hates my husband because he sticks up for me and tells her off which no one ever dares to do (including me) and when I married him she lost control of me. He hates her for what she’s done to me and he would only go if I wanted to. There’s always horrible tension because we all know what happened we just pretend to be civil and everyone knows it’s fake. I am so tired of lying and pretending. Hearing her voice on the voicemail was awful and she sounded slightly nuts. I don’t want to do this and the fact that she’s started contacting me everyday since I agreed to see her just shows me that my fears are correct. If I give her an inch she forces her way through and goes overboard. This has happened before. There was a time before my husband helped me to cut her off, that she literally called me everyday, several times a day sometimes a few minutes after we had just hung up. If I didn’t answer the phone at times she would grill me the next time saying “Where were you!” I can’t go through this again. My therapist and I had just worked out how I was going to cut her off for one year after this visit and look at what she’s doing. Her actions are making me think that I shouldn’t do this and quite frankly she’s making me mad. I don’t have time for this. I’m still trying to deal with the issues from my last post so I can talk about them in therapy. Why can’t I stand up to her. Where are my alters now!? Where’s Nicole when I need her!? Why are they never around when I actually could use some help? What’s the point of having an angry alter if they don’t get angry and help me!?


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to My mother won’t leave me alone! You give an inch they take a f&#@!’n yard!

  1. roseroars says:

    How are you going to respond to her? I just got a similar email from my mother (she doesn’t know about my surgery) and I’m ignoring it.

    • CimmerianInk says:

      I didn’t tell my mother about my hysterectomy until after I got home from the hospital. She always tries to scare me by saying horrible things and I didn’t need to hear that before the surgery.
      I don’t know what I’m going to say to her. I’m going to talk to my husband since I need some perspective. I may go, but her psycho calling has convinced me that I can cut her off and tell her her to leave me alone afterwards. She showed me that she has not changed, I’m right about her. Good for you on ignoring your “mother”. 🙂

      • Holly says:

        Mine still on pyschotic kick. She dont understand no tresspassing, left a usual nasty letter woe is me crap, She lives to make someone else miserable. I try so hard to not be stressed. I dont have anyone to stand up for me. I wish I had a husband to force her away. She just dont listen. When she shows for this crap, im not home to just call sherriff & get her attention that way & if i write a letter back, shes alter it & show it to everyone what an “ungrateful little B I am and who knows what else. So, you think shes just seeing what action that will bring & i should ignore still? Help!

  2. castorgirl says:

    Sometimes the alters wait to see how you react…

    • CimmerianInk says:

      What are they looking for? Is it some kind of alter game? I don’t get it. *sigh*

      • castorgirl says:

        It’s not a game… nope. I’m not sure what it’s like for you and your system, but for us it’s like a whole round of questioning…

        Am I going to be needed?
        Can she cope with this?
        What if I leave taking over for a bit longer?
        … and so on

        It’s not simple. The whole system is trying to learn and understand new ways of doing things. Sometimes it doesn’t quite work out like anticipated, and sometimes the host has to realise that they can do things they didn’t think they could.

      • CimmerianInk says:

        Hmmm..I understand, that actually makes sense. I was mad at them for a while but now we’re all good.

  3. Holly says:

    Im so sorry you have to deal with that. Mines manic depressive & thats turned into straight crazy as hell. She was abusive my whole life, still is even though im 43 & moved out at 17 because of her. Its to point yet again to cut her from life again, because Im not putting myself through that stress & chest pains. She does not respond to requests or even plain telling her to leave me alone. Tresspassing, breaking/entering, property destruction…next step is commit her or have her arrested….

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