Monthly Archives: October 2010

Uncomfortable


I had to be around a lot of people today in a large crowd, many of them children (not Halloween related). I have friends who have kids and I’m noticing that now, more than ever before, I am really, really … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Honesty is a hard one…


Things have changed and I hate it. I don’t even know if this will make sense. I’ve said before that I thought being abused was supposed to make you hate sex and I didn’t, so I doubted the abuse. Now things … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Part Two: Sexual fantasies and issues related to sexual abuse


It took me a bit to come back and continue this subject because I honestly don’t know what to say. Sometimes I feel like if I’m going to say something it’d better be amazing or profound. Thank goodness that’s not … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

Sexual fantasies and sexual abuse: whats the connection?


I had therapy today and we talked about the uncomfortable subject of sexual fantasies. I wanted to know why I think about the things I do namely: incest and force. I talked about how great my husband is in that whole … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Dream last night


I had a dream last night. One of those dreams that combine people you know with really awkward or awful things even though they had nothing to do with it. There is a guy I know who’s married and he … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Powerful and brave interview about male sexual abuse


Tyler Perry was on Oprah and he talked about being abused both sexually and physically. His description of the sexual abuse was brutally honest and it was very brave especially because men don’t get the same attention as women do … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I’m stuck again (what’s new) can’t get past a feeling


Wonder of wonders I’m in a loop of confusion, doubt and suffering from an infuriating lack of knowledge and information. I’m stuck on one of the issues that I brought up in therapy this week. The feeling I had when I … Continue reading

Posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments