Collage. I have images in my head. This is how they make me feel. *sexual*


I have pictures in my head and I don’t know if I can trust them so I made a collage. The girl on the right is a doll and the center picture reminded me of a labyrinth. I had to take a photo because the collage is 12×18 and too big for me to scan, so the flash had to be on to combat the lighting. I had starting cutting out pictures weeks ago> I didn’t censor what I chose I just let my mind do it. Whatever appealed I cut out and I didn’t analyze it. I didn’t know how I was going to use each picture I just put them in a shoebox for later. When I decided to do a collage about the sex thing because The Courage To Heal Workbook suggested it, I was surprised that it only took me a few minutes to pick out the pictures from the box and put it together on the paper. Fastest collage I’ve ever done lol! It’s very cliché and kind of stupid looking but I’m putting it up anyway because it’s my blog and I can do what I want lol *sexual*

Confusion, Desire and Disgust

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Abilify, abuse, Alters, bipolar disorder, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Family Relationships, fibromyalgia, headaches, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Toxic Parents, Trauma, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Collage. I have images in my head. This is how they make me feel. *sexual*

  1. roseroars says:

    It’s not stupid or cliche at all. It’s very powerful. Will you take it to therapy?

    • CimmerianInk says:

      Yes I will but I will only go over it with her after I have my trust issues worked out with her about her comments last time. Thanks for your comment about the collage, I felt like an idiot kind of, because it was so elementary. It wasn’t very artistic lol

  2. castorgirl says:

    Hi CI,

    This is incredible, it really is. Not only the collage, but the process you went through to create it. It takes courage and strength to do a collage without censorship or judgment… especially when it’s such an emotive topic. It’s definitely not cliched or stupid.

    How did it feel doing the collage, as opposed to looking at it now?

    Take care,
    CG

    • CimmerianInk says:

      Thank you, I thought it sucked but you guys made me feel better. I didn’t think about how I was putting it together, I didn’t have to, it just came together which was interesting in of itself. I was a little thrown by how easily I did it because I didn’t know what pictures I was going to use before I started. I just went through the shoebox and pulled out whatever felt right. As for how I feel about it now? Doing the collage was kind of creepy because I was using all of these images and they were horrible to me but I had to use them because they were honest and I’m tired of lying about everything. You spend your whole childhood lying. So no matter how I felt about the pictures and no matter who I was going ot show it to, I made myself stay honest and I didn’t censor anything. I was grossed out by the visuals but it was the truth so there you go. I look at it now and it’s like I’m more distanced, not in a bad way, just not as caught up in it as I was when I was making it. I can look at it objectively and it actually looks ok I guess, not as stupid as I thought. Getting the positive feedback definitely helped! 🙂

      • castorgirl says:

        It definitely doesn’t suck… The thing about healing art, is that’s it’s all about the emotions and story. Your collage portrays those qualities. That shows in the way it came together too – that “knowing” about which were the right pictures to use, and where to put them.

        It’s great that you feel safe here, so that you can share this with us 🙂

        The system map sounds awesome too…

        Take care,
        CG

      • CimmerianInk says:

        Thank you again. I want you to know that your amazing artwork inspired me to try and express myself visually, so thank you!

  3. meredith says:

    Awesome! Just awesome. Thanks so much for sharing this. It’s so cool that you share all of this, CI. I think all of this is just neat, and I learn so much from you because you share so openly. I’m really glad you’re part of this community…

    You rock, woman.
    ~meredith~

    • CimmerianInk says:

      Thank You! 🙂 I don’t even know what to say to that, you guys are all so amazing and I’m so glad I found this community. You rock pretty darn well yourself! 😉
      Before I did this collage I did several others about other subjects. I decided to let my alters make a collage that represents each of them in one space. It’s actually too big to fit on one 12×18 sheet so I’m making pages. I decided that the easiest way to represent them and respect them was to make a collage that represents a house with different levels. I made sure that internally, everyone knew that the levels didn’t represent the importance of the alter it was just a way to organize. I bought all kinds of back issues of magazine on Ebay and when I got them all, I opened my mind and started flipping through them. Whatever image appealed on whatever level, i cut out. I could tell sometimes which alter was choosing which pictures to represent them. The I started with one floor on one sheet and I’m working way up. Each floor either has one alter represented by the pictures they chose, or a floor may have two alters because I either put them together out of respect or because thet were ok being on the same “floor” in the house. Then I study each alters representation and the pictures they chose and the configuration of the pictures so i can understand them better. It’s a lot of work but it’s been worth it. Wow, that comment ended up being longer than I intended lol!

      • meredith says:

        I think it’s so neat that you can give such a detailed explanation of
        your process. Wow!

        I used to do collages all the time, and I really loved doing them. But, then I started school in architecture… and it compromised my ability to get messy and intense on paper… just exploring with lots of materials… and the whole free-thinking thing. Because my art was already so outside the box, I got really uptight about using my creative juice. Not a good marriage. I had to minor in dance just to keep my balance… and sanity. Okay. So anyway… I love this. And it inspires my already hungry mind to GET GOING again!

        Thanks, lady.

        ~meredith~

      • CimmerianInk says:

        Dang how much talent do you have!? You are awesome! And thank you so much, you all make it so easy to speak here.

  4. Rapid Cycling says:

    I was wondering if there was an image that was the most powerful for u that you stuck on your collage?
    Interestingly, I found the man’s jaw bone very very powerful and stuck out like a sore thumb to me. It looks condescending, terse, eerie, creepy…..
    The body with no limbs or head makes a very good statement. To me it says these are the parts of a woman that are most important to men – the rest are irrelevant.
    Thanks for sharing that – gotta get that creepy jawbone out of my head now LOL 😀

    • CimmerianInk says:

      Yea the jaw got me too and I never planned on using it like that. I’m sorry it creeped you out, it creeps me out to which is probably the point. I hope you can get it out of your head though 😦
      What’s interesting to me is that none of the pictures I cut out had anything to do with abuse. They were ads from fashion magazines and photos from art magazines and science magazines, nothing “deep” so to speak but they worked. I think the ones that stuck out the most were the jawbone for sure and the picture of the lower legs of the toddler, that got me. And the sex ones? WOW really got me. But again it was honest and that’s how it needed to come out, so I’m glad I did it. Again sorry it creeped you out though. *cringe*

      • meredith says:

        I think it’s interesting that ALL the pictures you cut out have to do with abuse. There’s some very power subliminal messaging about domination in the advertising industry. It’s unbelievable how good they are at implying… all kinds of “stuff.”

        ~meredith~

      • CimmerianInk says:

        Isn’t it though? The fake torso on the left corner is from a doll magazine. Creeeeepy! The naked family holding hands are statues from an art exhibit! Ewww!

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