Hospital Day One Part Two

So I got into the mental hospital on Friday for a 72 hour suicide watch. Things were uneventful after the horrendous crisis interview mentioned in the previous post, except for some writing in the plural and a drawing done of the man’s house in crayon. Then came bedtime. The unit in this hospital is co-ed which is not good and even the bathrooms are co-ed. Anyway, when it was time to go to bed, I heard so much internal noise, it sounded like when you put a seashell up to your ear and you hear the ocean but with the volume amplified about 100 times. It was awful, so much noise. I didn’t know what to do to calm things down. I just sat there feeling like I was going crazy. Finally I decided to try to see what parts were making the noise and why they were upset. I did a roll call which I haven’t tried. Parts piped up and stated that they were there, including the name of a boy I don’t recognize. Doing roll call seemed to help dampen the noise a little bit. Then I tried sifting through those who had responded to roll call and I checked each part to see who was upset. It was interesting that parts who usually take control in certain situations were completely thrown by being in the hospital. So, internally I said that everyone was safe because I was taking care of the situation. There seemed to be strong reactions if I asked certain parts for help, like they were overburdened already dealing with the inside. I noticed that the younger parts were making the most noise and I tried to understand what was going on. It came down to fear. They were afraid of the hospital. So, I told these parts that I would take care of them and that the staff at the hospital wouldn’t let anything happen to us. I tried to sound convincing. 🙂 Then I asked the older parts to make a circle around the younger parts and I told the younger parts to stay inside the circle and play. They did and things inside calmed down much more. I talked to my angry 17 year-old alter Nicki when I realized that there was A LOT of anger. I asked her why she was angry and it was clear that the anger was directed at the so-called therapist and the way she had treated us. I realized that I agreed wholeheartedly with her and I told her so. That seemed to calm the rest of the internal chaos.


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in abuse, Alters, Art Therapy, bipolar disorder, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Family Relationships, Mania, Medication, Meds, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric Drugs, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, self-harm, Sexual Abuse, Social Security Disability, Therapy, Trauma, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Hospital Day One Part Two

  1. castorgirl says:

    Wow, you did amazing! Well done!!
    You took care of parts in really scary circumstances… good on you.

    Take care,

    • tai0316 says:

      Thank you CG 🙂
      I’ll say one thing, the experience made me understand my system better. Yeesh…
      Btw, “good on you” is one of my favorite phrases lol! I have no idea why, but I love it everytime I see it or hear it. Weird huh?

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