I feel sick


I’ve spent part of yesterday (the day from hell) and today trying to figure out if there is any other source, a book, movie, the internet, where I could have gotten the image I saw and there is not! I feel so sick to my stomach I don’t know what to do. I’ve got therapy tomorrow, thank God. I read yesterday’s post which obviously started out with me writing it and moved on to what seems to me to be several others contributing and ending with one logical alter finishing. Thanks for not freaking out in the comments. It was like reading a stranger’s writings. Really disconcerting. I’m just sick, I feel like I want to vomit. I am, of course, in my classic style of thinking, not accepting this “memory”. My reaction yesterday was off the charts though and my husband has been watching me like I might break at any moment. He keeps asking me if I’m ok and patting my head, which is really irritating, but I know he’s just trying to help. I told him to stop cosseting me, he knows I hate being taken care of but he told me that I have to accept it because he loves me and we’re like one person. What the hell do I say to that!? I wish I could be alone for a while or go outside, but even though the sun is shining beautifully, it’s really, really cold out. I’d settle for not feeling sick to my stomach.

Thanks again for the supportive comments, I just need time to work with this. Hopefully therapy will help tomorrow.

Advertisements

About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative fugue, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Intimacy, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I feel sick

  1. Paul says:

    Just wanted to let you know that I am keeping up with your blog. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. Sending you warm thoughts…

  2. castorgirl says:

    I’m sorry you’re struggling Tai… really sorry.

    Remember to breathe and take it one moment at a time.

    Take care,
    CG

  3. attached says:

    I hope therapy helped. I am thinking of you too.
    di

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s