About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
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2 Responses to Heavy

  1. shame says:

    Has weight always been an issure for you?


    • tai0316 says:

      Hey jo,
      Weight only became an issue for me in 2001 when I was first diagnosed as bipolar. They started me on Zyprexa and I gained 30 lbs almost immediately and then it went to Lithium and on to Depakote which by far was the absolute worst and added another 70 lbs! When I started Keppra instead of Depakote, I was finally able to start losing all of that weight through exercise and diet and I had lost 90 lbs. That’s why this setback is so upsetting. I was thin my whole life and when I got fat, I fell back on humor and using my wit so I would have some sort of redeeming quality. Now everyone raves about my weight loss, but since I’m 6 feet tall, I can carry extra pounds without anyone knowing it. But I know it and I can’t stand to look at myself. It’s only about a 7 lb difference but it makes big difference in how I look when I see myself in the mirror or when someone takes a picture of me. I look awful even though everyone around me just ooh’s and ahhh’s over my weight loss. Of course people are shallow and they can go to hell. This is about how I feel about myself, I don’t care what other people think. I just wonder what changed in December???

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