Weird experience watching someone learn to ride a bike.


Sometimes life has strange timing. A few days ago I saw a commercial that was talking about childhood milestones that parents never miss, like their child taking their first step and watching them ride a bicycle without training wheels for the first time. I remember thinking, not for the first time, that I taught myself to ride a bicycle when I was a kid. My mother was too busy having an affair with a man who was married to her cousin (yes you read that correctly). Anyway, we’ve all seen that cliché scene of a parent holding the seat of their child’s bike, pushing them along and then letting them go and running along side their child cheering as they ride the bike on their own, boo frickety hoo. So, today, I hear a little girl playing outside and I look out the window and what do I see? Queue sappy music: a father teaching his daughter to ride her bike. Oh the irony, ha! And, let me tell you, it was CLASSIC. She had a little purple/pinkish helmet on and he did exactly what they show on the movies, right down to running along side her. They kept trying and she would get a little farther each time and then fall over. Check this out, she would fall over and cry and he would help her up, reassure her and ask her if she wanted to try again. She would sniff and nod her head and then run back to her bike ready to try again. It got even worse, because she had a little sister who wanted to be like her and so their dad would let the younger one pretend to ride the bike while her sister got ready to try again. At one point, the older girl fell over again and cried and the dad gave her a hug and her little sister came over and put one arm around her and one arm around their dad and hugged them both. And no, I’m not kidding. unbelievable. My reaction to this scene was a little confusing. I couldn’t stop watching and my first thought was that I would make sure that the father didn’t do anything inappropriate while “teaching” her. I felt jaded because that was my first thought. Then as I watched this scene unfold, I couldn’t stop thinking that it must be a setup. Nothing could look like the movies, it was to sweet and nice. I kept thinking that at any moment the father would get angry at the daughter for falling and he would yell at her or hit her, but that didn’t happen. Then I started wondering if the dad was upset that he had two daughters instead of a son. I thought it was impossible that he could actually be as happy as he looked teaching his daughter to ride a bike. Life is not like that. I thought that he must hate it and he was just pretending. I held on to that one. As I watched to girl get better at riding the bike each time she tried, I actually found myself cheering for her, silently saying, “You can do it” in my mind and I was happy for her the first time she managed to ride down the sidewalk without falling over. I wondered if that was the way things are supposed to be. Of course I know that real-life is not like this but I wondered if some people’s lives are kind of nice? I don’t know. I know that I always felt like a pathetic loser when I was a kid because I had to figure out how to ride a bike on my own and no one wanted to teach me. I think it’s because the media tells us that the whole bike-riding thing is a “milestone” for a child and their parents. Of course the media lies, so why would that be true? Huh, I wasn’t intending on making this a “poor me” post and yet, here we are.

Anyway, I’ve apparently lost the point of this post so I will end it here haha 🙂

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, dissociative identity disorder, Family Relationships, Incest, Mental Health, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychiatric medication, Psychiatry, PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Trauma and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Weird experience watching someone learn to ride a bike.

  1. shame says:

    My dad taught me to ride my bike and also drive. He deserved an award for his patience.

    jo

  2. Freasha1964 says:

    Hi Tai,
    I have been wondering where you’ve been, and it is good to hear from you.
    I think I know that feeling. On the light end, it is wistful. On the darker end, it is jealousy and the feeling of abandonment and why me, what did I do?

    I went through a period recently, long after I could take care of myself, where I would notice every last 10+ year old girl who was in the grocery store or elsewhere talking with her mother, and want to cry. Or even anyone who had a mother, period. Or when my friend’s mother called her “honey”. I noticed it and I am sure those actually taking part in it were thinking of other things. (My friend’s mother called me “honey”, too some time later, and damn, I noticed it. I liked it. Kept my mouth shut, however.)

    So, of course you would notice that SOMEBODY’S father was ACTUALLY doing his job. It can happen. My father taught me to ride a bike, and actually, that is one of my memories that must have been from before my mother died. I am here to tell you that most fathers CAN be good to their daughters. And most mothers live much longer than mine did. We notice what we want so badly that we can’t have. Like a diabetic child at a birthday party sitting on the sidelines while the others eat their chocolate cake and ice cream. What could we have done to deserve this? Hard to answer that question. Fate? Luck of the draw? God hates us? That gets back to what could we have done to deserve this.

    • tai0316 says:

      Hey Freasha 🙂

      I like your analogy using a diabetic child looking at the cake. It’s true, if we missed out on something we tend to notice when other people have it. I was surprised (in a good way) that you mentioned the jealousy aspect because that’s true too. I think about your situation often when talk of mothers come up. I wanted you to know that I remember what happened to you and how sorry I am.

      • Freasha1964 says:

        Thank you so much, Tai, for thinking of me when talks of mothers come up. It is very touching to know and brings tears to my eyes. It means a lot to me.

        On the “Jealousy” topic. That is such a hard emotion to admit, at least for me. It was so much NOT an issue for me until I got attached to my therapist. My time would be up and she’d be on to another client, or to spend time with her real family, and I was so jealous, and I even told her. She said it was normal and even her dog got jealous of her when his time was being cut in on by someone else. It must have to do with the “not enough” issue. Never got enough…chocolate cake. The party was over, they ate it all, and I was stuck in the front yard because the door was locked. [This is just an analogy]. There are some crumbs left and they hand them to me as everyone is leaving. Here you go, you can have a taste. Just pretend you actually were at the party. Dawn (Awakening) wrote a poem about crumbs that really nailed it for me.

        For Castorgirl and the “good on you” idiom. My neighbor says that and she is from Australia. Now I see. And if I think about it, neither (good for you vs. good on you) really means exactly what it says.

      • castorgirl says:

        Hi Freasha,

        The meaning of “good on you” changes depending on the inflection… I wrote it in a positive way, but it can also be scornful if said in a different tone – but that’s usually kept for when you’re talking in person and can suitably impress with the dismissive sarcasm intended 🙂

        Take care,
        CG

      • tai0316 says:

        I love learning about expressions people in different countries use. Since I love British T.V. and I watch BBC America all the time (Doctor Who returns on April 23rd!) I’ve said “Oi” (I think that’s the spelling for when they say “Oy” lol) and I say bugger and bollocks without thinking about it.
        I just realized I am so weird ha!

  3. Freasha1964 says:

    Sorry, I have been fumbling, and hit the send button. Hopefully there weren’t any typos in the first part.
    Another thing I don’t especially enjoy is a big pat on the back: Good girl! You learned to ride your bike all by yourself (in your case), or You raised yourself without any help from a mother, great job! That just sort of rubs salt in the wound.
    So, I won’t say that you are especially talented and determined, even though you are, to have learned to bicycle without help. Wasn’t the point, was it?

    Anyway, this is all to say, I understand how such experiences as watching a little girl get a lesson from her dad on bicycle riding can bring up some strong and sad, sorrowful, angry, etc. feelings. Let them come.

    One more thought. That dad probably learned how to teach from that commercial you saw.

    • castorgirl says:

      I smiled when I read about the dad learning that scene from the commercial… it’s possibly true. It’s easy to forget that there might be more to the story than meets the eye – and that it doesn’t have to be negative. If that dad learned from a commercial, then good on him for trying his best for his girls.

      • tai0316 says:

        Wow CG, you hit it again. The point about there being more to what we see but it doesn’t have to be negative. Again, I like to think that’s true.

        On a side point, can you believe that I’ve been saying, “Good on you” for a while now lol! I’ve always loved that phrasing but for some reason, knowing you has made me use it everyday life and I totally don’t care if people look at me funny. 😀 Actually so far no one has caught on that I’m not saying, “Good for you” hehe.

    • tai0316 says:

      Oooh good point on the pat on the back Freasha. Your right, the point isn’t that I could teach myself, it’s that I had to.

      I laughed at your comment about the father learning that from the commercial. 🙂

  4. castorgirl says:

    I sometimes watch scenes like this and expect someone to yell out “cut” and the crew from the movie all come out of the scenery to fix it up for the next part of the movie. But, there is good in this world. You saw a glimpse of it with this scene. I hope that this sort of scene, or variations on it, are the norm for most children, and the scenes we remember aren’t. I know that’s not the case for far too many children, but there are good parents out there – I’ve even know a few. They’re not perfect, but they’re doing their very best to put their children first and keep their lives in balance.

    If it’s any consolation, I also taught myself to ride the bike. As the youngest of four, I was also constantly taunted as I tried. I think my oldest brother tried to help me. I remember being scared of the brakes, and my sister asking others (while I was present) “has she learned how to use the brakes yet” in this scornful, dismissive voice. She hated me. Ahh, good times.

    Take care,
    CG

    • tai0316 says:

      Hey CG,
      You said it exactly like I thought, like someone was going to yell, “Cut!” and come out and give directions to the “actors” on their next part. I’m with you, I really hope that this is normal for most people, that would be nice even if we didn’t experience ourselves.

      You and I and riding bikes huh? Your sister was mean and I’m sorry, that’s so hard when thing already sucked as it was. Good times indeed. *sigh* I’m totally empathizing with you right now.

      • castorgirl says:

        I know there is good in the world… there just has to be.

        I know what you’re meaning about jealousy, but I don’t feel that directly because there’s still too many suspicions about the motives of the adults involved in any of those scenes. So I’m still looking for them to be abusive, and I get more confused than anything when I don’t see anything suspicious happening. I don’t want the bad stuff to happen, but it’s almost like I’m expecting it. So I don’t get the jealousy on a conscious level, but it’s bound to be there. There has to be some wonder as to why we were treated in one way, and these other children are treated as they should be – with love, care and respect.

        I’m glad you saw some good, and saw it for the good that it was. No matter how the father learned those skills, he showed them, and wasn’t ashamed to show them in public.

        Take care,
        CG

  5. roseroars says:

    I don’t think I could have watched it as you did. It would have made me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t watch commercials like that either, so I leave the room or turn away. It’s good you were able to watch that and think it through.

    • tai0316 says:

      Lisa,
      I’ve definitely been there. There are certain situations I may be in, or commercials, movies, or T.V. shows that are just…hard to watch. That can be tricky when you’re with a group of people and you can’t freak out on everyone. But with watching the dad and his kids, it was very much like what CG described. I was almost certain that someone was going to yell “Cut! Let’s try that scene again”, or what really made me stay and watch was the certainty that he was going to do something to hurt her. I was sure of it. But, he didn’t and I’m glad.

  6. janet says:

    This post made me smile. Lovely post. c: my parents never had time to teach me either but just yesterday my boyfriend teached me. Never too old to learn I am 18.

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