First of all, let me apologize for not keeping up the blog the way I should. I haven’t been responding to comments or posting as much as usual and I’m really sorry. I will go back and read comments and respond as soon as I can. Really, really, sorry!
I just came back from therapy and I’m a little disturbed. I was talking to her about the changes in my behavior, she asked me why I canceled our last appointment and I didn’t know the answer. It was like there was great, big, blank there when I tried to think about it. That’s never happened before.
Then she really threw me because she went over her notes from our last session two weeks ago and she talked about me crying and all this stuff, and there was a great, big, blank again. I could literally remember everything right up to a certain point, and then, for me it’s like our conversation continued, but what happened in reality was that I switched to a younger part and started crying. Then we talked after the crying and that’s the only part I remember. I don’t remember any crying or anything. I thought our last session was nothing but positive. I couldn’t comment on anything she said because I don’t remember it. Ugh, crap and, phooey!
Now I’m all rattled and irritated.
On a positive note (I guess), she appealed to my logic, which realizes that when you starve yourself, any weight loss you experience isn’t really, real, so to speak. I know that the body goes into starvation mode or whatever. So, anyway, she used logic to make me reconsider the eating thing. It’s a shame too because I lost 4 lbs in 2 days. Dang it!
I’m still manic and it’s gone on long enough that I will be calling my psychiatrist tomorrow. I swear, I don’t know what I will do if he decides to change my meds. There are few things in this world that freak me out more than that.
So to summarize: I’m sorry, I’m crazy and I’m eating. 😉
And a special thanks to CG for watching my back.