I like This Place


I like This Place


 

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in dissociative identity disorder and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I like This Place

  1. empty says:

    Could you, if you want, elaborate on this collage?

    jo

    • tai0316 says:

      Sure I can jo.

      I’m sure the image brings up feelings for others that it didn’t for me when I made it.
      Recently, I’ve been having this desire, actually it’s a desire completely against my normal nature, but a desire to be forcibly hospitalized. Let me explain what I see in my imagination: I see myself being taken the hospital (a regular one, not psych) and kicking and screaming at all of the nurses and orerlies and doctors as they try to get me to calm down, but I don’t want to calm down, so I fight. I see myself in a hospital gown with people trying to grab hold of my arms or legs while I kick them and yell. Now, in my imagination, all of the hospital staff are very nice people, in fact, they’re concerned about my welfare and they only want to help, but I…I want to fight. I want them to have to take me down kickiing and screaming. I see a doctor come at me with a syringe and they sedate me. Then they put in a nice quiet room like the one I made in the collage. I know; the room doesn’t look nice at all but that’s what I want. I want to be alone, alone so I can pace and walk around and mumble and do what I want without people around.

      Unforntunately, Ican’t have this scenario. A) I’m not suicidal and B) when I do have to go to a hospital, I’m always perfectly polite. I answer questions as best as I can understand them even though my brain has usally stopped working at full capacity by that time. I floow orders and I do what they tell me. I’m a model patient and the staff is always nice to me because I don’t cause trouble. But the picture in my head is what I want or should I say that maybe it’s what parrt of me wants? i honestly don’t know, I just know that I needed to make the collage.

      What thoughts came to mind for you when you saw it jo? I’m curious…

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