Deeply sad

I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I took my meds like normal but by 2:30 in the morning I was still wide awake. On top of that I felt very jittery like I had drunk an entire pot of coffee but of course I didn’t. It was a terrible feeling, like I wanted to come out of my skin. My mind was racing a bit but I was also tired. My eyes just wouldn’t shut and I felt physically strange. I took another pill early this morning and slept for maybe an hour and then woke up around 4:00 a.m. I think I slept a bit more and then I got up around 8:00. It’s a bipolar thing I’m sure but I feel absolutely hideous today. I’m still kind of jittery but I’m also feeling terrible waves of sadness coming over me every few minutes since I woke up.

I’m not writing for any particular reason, I just felt like talking.


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, depression and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Deeply sad

  1. Pandora says:

    Gah, sounds horrible – mixed episode-ish? Really hope you’re feeling better soon, tai. Sorry this is crap but I wanted you to know I’d at least read this.

    Please take care of yourself.


    Pan xxx

  2. empty says:

    Not being able to sleep sucks. I had difficulty sleeping last week. Hope you sleep better tonight.

  3. Freasha1964 says:

    That is just the worst feeling. Torture. Sleep is so important. I hope you get some tonight…right now…

    Having gone through a period of more than a year of not sleeping well, and all the different possible ways of addressing it, I can only say that there is in many cases nothing really that helps but it is worth investigating every possibility. I did write about a book’s worth of journal entries, all around 3:30 AM. I used to call it “my old friend, 3:30”. For me I am sure it was psychological and has pretty much gone away now.

  4. castorgirl says:

    Sleep…. ha! I laugh in the face of sleep 🙂

    This sounds really scary tai… insomnia is one thing, but this is something totally different – as you say, bipolar associated. Have you managed to settle in any way?

    Sending positive thoughts your way,

  5. Bay says:

    Oh Tai, that’s horrible. Tired and can’t sleep is just nasty. Hate that jittery feeling too, we get that sometimes.
    Sending peaceful energy. Hope you get some nice restful sleep soon.

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