Deeply sad


I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I took my meds like normal but by 2:30 in the morning I was still wide awake. On top of that I felt very jittery like I had drunk an entire pot of coffee but of course I didn’t. It was a terrible feeling, like I wanted to come out of my skin. My mind was racing a bit but I was also tired. My eyes just wouldn’t shut and I felt physically strange. I took another pill early this morning and slept for maybe an hour and then woke up around 4:00 a.m. I think I slept a bit more and then I got up around 8:00. It’s a bipolar thing I’m sure but I feel absolutely hideous today. I’m still kind of jittery but I’m also feeling terrible waves of sadness coming over me every few minutes since I woke up.

I’m not writing for any particular reason, I just felt like talking.

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in bipolar disorder, depression and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Deeply sad

  1. Pandora says:

    Gah, sounds horrible – mixed episode-ish? Really hope you’re feeling better soon, tai. Sorry this is crap but I wanted you to know I’d at least read this.

    Please take care of yourself.

    *hugs*

    Pan xxx

  2. empty says:

    Not being able to sleep sucks. I had difficulty sleeping last week. Hope you sleep better tonight.

  3. Freasha1964 says:

    That is just the worst feeling. Torture. Sleep is so important. I hope you get some tonight…right now…

    Having gone through a period of more than a year of not sleeping well, and all the different possible ways of addressing it, I can only say that there is in many cases nothing really that helps but it is worth investigating every possibility. I did write about a book’s worth of journal entries, all around 3:30 AM. I used to call it “my old friend, 3:30”. For me I am sure it was psychological and has pretty much gone away now.

  4. castorgirl says:

    Sleep…. ha! I laugh in the face of sleep 🙂

    This sounds really scary tai… insomnia is one thing, but this is something totally different – as you say, bipolar associated. Have you managed to settle in any way?

    Sending positive thoughts your way,
    CG

  5. Bay says:

    Oh Tai, that’s horrible. Tired and can’t sleep is just nasty. Hate that jittery feeling too, we get that sometimes.
    Sending peaceful energy. Hope you get some nice restful sleep soon.
    Bay

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