The last couple of replies I wrote to comments probably sound stupid but I’m kind of in a weird head space right now.
I had therapy today and I brought up the subject of my uncle and asked if I was being a drama queen or looking for attention. My therapist actually laughed at the thought. She said that I’m the opposite of a drama queen or attention seeker. She asked me to notice how I was making everything unimportant. She said that drama queens don’t ask themselves if they’re being drama queens.
I think I may have trouble writing at the moment. I thought I could write about my session but I’m too upset. I want to cry and the thought of death is kind of nice. I can’t cry because my husband might hear me or come looking for me, so that sucks. Everything hurts and I don’t know what to do about it. I want to scream but I can’t and I wish I was dead every couple of minutes. I want out of my skin but that can’t happen either. I want to run away but I can’t do that. If I could just be alone and cry and sob that might be helpful but I can’t.
I don’t like today.