So I had my session today and I was on my way out of the grocery store afterwards when I saw that I had missed a call on my cell. I check my voicemail and it’s the place where I take music lessons telling me that my teacher is gone. Just like that. Gone.
In the message they said that they usually want notice from their instructors but that in her instance they felt it was better not to have her on staff anymore. They’re offering to move me to someone I don’t know and I can’t do that. Trying to learn the viola was a huge step for me. If you read my posts in the past about it, you know that losing that because my mother moved me to different schools every year was something that stayed with me all these years. Opening myself up again as an adult like that was very scary. I felt so vulnerable and I was incredibly nervous and thinking that I would fail. The woman who taught me, understood the bipolar thing. She understand that sometimes my brain didn’t cooperate the way that I wanted. She even took into account my muscle problems and was patient when things hurt. She was always positive and praised any little achievement I made. I had just gotten to the point where I could play “Ode To Joy.” We were playing harmonies together and everything. I was cautiously proud of myself for possibly not sucking at this. She was amazing and she’s gone. Part of me wonders why she didn’t call but I don’t know what happened between her and the studio. Obviously from the message, something went down. But I feel betrayed, like why didn’t she at least call me to let me know that she was leaving. After I got over the initial shock I was surprised that I felt like crying. I felt grief and loss. This sucks.
I’ll write about my session later and I also have writing “homework” to do for the next session. I don’t feel like writing anymore at the moment.