I had a weird dream last night. Let me say first that I felt a need to try to understand how pedophiles groom their victims, so I went back and watched Oprah’s interview with some convicted felons. I don’t know what I was looking for. Maybe just trying to figure out what the normal procedure for these a-holes is. I’ve seen this interview before but it was still hard to listen to.
Later that night, I had a dream where I was a little girl and I was watching Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood on a television and laying on a couch. An unknown man got behind me on the couch. I heard Mr. Rogers say something about introducing touch and I know that statement came from the interview I saw. The man behind me started touching my chest, but it was weird to me in the dream because I was too young to have breasts so what was the point?
I know why the chest thing came up. I’ve always wondered why there are times that I can’t stand for my husband to touch me there. I go through these periods where it’s sickening and disturbing to be touched there. That has never made sense to me though because I was a child when I was abused and I didn’t have breasts, so why would that feel weird? I guess it was on my mind, so I dreamed about it.
I didn’t write this for any particular reason. I just needed to write about it.