Monthly Archives: November 2011

Notes from therapy this week


During my session this week I expressed my frustration at not having more than the one memory. My therapist seemed confident that more memories would come over time and while I balked at that, I appreciate that she never tries … Continue reading

Posted in Child Molestation, Incest, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , | 8 Comments

Just read a very disturbing news story about false memory claims


So there’s a treatment facility in the U.S. that’s being sued for planting false memories in a woman, with several other women coming forward to join her. I almost didn’t post about this because I don’t want to cause confusion … Continue reading

Posted in Child Molestation, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , | 9 Comments

Fumbling and then making a mess of things *intimacy*


We tried being intimate and it was horrible. I say horrible not because there was no pleasure but because I found it all so upsetting that I almost gave up and started crying. And you know that I don’t cry. … Continue reading

Posted in Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Incest, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

Along with feelings come other things not as savory


I’m not going to get into what I’ve done but I will say that I’ve made myself ill with disgust and disappointment. I shouldn’t be thinking of the things I’m thinking of and I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. … Continue reading

Posted in Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

I don’t feel so good…


That’s pretty much all I can say. I was supposed to go out with my in-laws and something just changed when it got closer. I got really sad and then I started panicking about the whole thing. My husband was … Continue reading

Posted in Child Molestation, DID, dissociation, Incest, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sexual Abuse | 10 Comments

I should be asleep…ugh


I have no idea why I’m awake. I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor trying to follow my therapist advice to identify my feelings. I think I was sad and anxious? It feels like I’m trying to feel something … Continue reading

Posted in Child Abuse, Child Molestation, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Dreams, Incest, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Trying to sense when processing wants to begin


It’s lame not to be a computer sometimes. If I was a computer I could initiate the processing of information and let the program run and then see a results report. Not so in real life as a flesh and blood … Continue reading

Posted in Child Molestation, dissociative identity disorder, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , | 4 Comments