Are you an apologetic person?


I was thinking the other day while running errands, that I apologize a lot. And it’s obvious that it’s more than the average person. I noticed that I’ll say “Sorry” even if someone bumps into me. It’s almost automatic. I say “Excuse me.” as I walk through stores if I’m even going to pass in front of someone. What made this stand out to me was that I did this the other day and a few of the people gave me condescending looks when I apologized as if to say, “That’s right! How dare you!” when I didn’t actually do anything. A woman and I in the pet store almost bumped into each other and I stepped to the side and let her go first. I said something like, “Go ahead.” and she gave me an imperious look as she took her time about walking. I then noticed throughout that same day that no one said “excuse me” or “I’m sorry” when they did anything to me and I wondered why I’m so ready to apologize. Then I started wondering if others I know in this community are like that as well? I was raised to have good manners but after the other day I have to wonder if it’s something else because I feel like I’m going overboard compared to other people. Thoughts?

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
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10 Responses to Are you an apologetic person?

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    Maybe you are just highly sensitive and kind hearted by nature…living among a bunch of inconsiderate jerks. They are out there…
    I don’t know if I apologize more than average, but I do probably utter those words on a daily basis.

    • CimmerianInk says:

      I bet you’re way more considerate than most people Freasha. I have a feeling that many people go through the day without saying anything polite at all. I just wondered if childhood experiences etc. could make a person more prone to saying “Sorry” all the time.

  2. I used to be all simpering and apologetic. I’ve managed to stamp on the apologies (which is difficult in the UK- etiquette dictates that both the ‘bumped’ and ‘bumpee’ apologise when these sorts of things happen..). The simperingness remains, and eg, I’ll regularly be put out by people in the situation you’ve described of being polite to let someone go through (and even worse, for them to them to pause to look at something while I have to wait for them to clear the way…. grrr). I’ll wager that like me you are also being un-demanding in social transactions even when it would be more efficient all round for you to be a bit more forthright. (eg in the studio today rather than ask if anyone was using a set of scales left in a weighing area rather than been put away, I went and found another set and went backward and forward weighing items- actually taking up more space and resource from the group than if I’d simply been able to pipe up with a simple question.)
    Go a week without apologizing and see what it does for you! And if you learn anything about being demanding, will be eager to hear…

  3. alice says:

    im alot like this, i apologise for things that werent effected by anything id done, its an instant reaction!
    Its silly but i even say sorry went someone else does something to upset me, i agree, people are jerks

  4. castorgirl says:

    I apologise for everything – including existing. I definitely think there is an element of my past in my tendency to apologise. But, I also believe in treating others as you’d like to be treated, so I try to be polite; and if they don’t respond in kind, well that’s their problem. I’m not going to be rude, just because it’s become the norm. I’ve worked in the service industry for years, and it’s amazing how politeness and apologies can smooth over a situation – and get you better service 🙂

    I do think there is a balance between apologising too much; and being positively assertive, while still being polite. I haven’t reached that yet.

    Take care,
    CG

    • CimmerianInk says:

      I agree. I wouldn’t want to change how I act just because the world got more rude. I’m thinking that, like you, my past plays a role in how much and how quickly I apolgize.

  5. Just some Guy says:

    To be overly apologetic could mean a number of things in a persons psychological makeup as listed by few above but it could just simply be a characteristic of being considerate/polite of others and there feelings. Being considerate goes hand-in-hand with being a gentle hearted and humble individual, thus being ‘meek’ but not in the dictionary sense of explanation measured to our natural social cultures but by handling situations in a righteous/prautes sense or to be above in standard than ones-self or being “the bigger person”. To be better understood as ‘prautes’ in greek, here you can have a deeper understanding/meaning from a spiritual and logical point of view. http://www.cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/PERSONAL/k/237/The-Fruit-of-Spirit-Meekness.htm

    In short to be considerate, gentle, humble and ‘meek’; will draw you away from being hostile, rude, angered, destructive and negative, etc. Overall humility will be found and you won’t have to stoop to the level of others who would rather be; lack for a better word “jerks” but instead be kind and peaceful!

    May your pleasant quality help shape others from the negativity that propagates in our current society to become kinder in hearts.

    Peace

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