I was trying to decide if I wanted to talk about my session or about these dreams I keep having. I’ll go with the dremas first because they’re bothering me and I’ll write a seperate post about therapy.
Last week I had two dreams on two seperate nights. In both dreams I was walking along doing whatever I was doing when I heard a child crying. In the first dream, I ignored it at first, thinking that it was just some kid crying about something unimportant, kind of like you do at the grocery store because kids cry all the time for little reasons. Quite quickly though, in the dream, I got a bad feeling that the child was crying because something was wrong. They kpet crying constantly for a long time and I wondered why no one was helping them. I couldn’t see the child; I didn’t know where they were. I could just hear them. Now, writing this a week later the details are fuzzy here. I have always been able to remember my dreams since I was little so I can get the gist of it still. I found the child, I think it was a girl. All I know is that I knew that someone was hurting her, abusing her. It wasn’t clear whether it was physical or sexual abuse though. I didn’t see an adult around but I knew that’s what had happened. I think the dream changed to something else after that or I woke up.
Anyway, a night soon after that I had another dream. I heard a child crying and this time I didn’t ignore it and I knew right away that someone was hurting that child. I also know that it was a different child from the last dream. In this case I knew that the child was being sexually abused and I could hear them crying while it happened. I think I found the child but I also think I woke up. It was disturbing because I knew that I was hearing what was happening but the dream was goofy and I couldn’t stop it. It was like I could hear the constant crying but I couldn’t figure out what adults were doing what to the child and what they were doing was hidden from eyes.
Last night I had another dream. A different child again. In fact this one was a baby. I remember that she was a girl. Again I heard crying and again I knew that something terrible was happening to her. I ran really fast to try and find her and I did. There were at least two adults around and one was an older woman who reminded me of a grandmother. The child was there and it freaked me out because whatever was being done to her was still happening while I stood there but I couldn’t see anything. They kept it right out of my line of sight so all I could see was her face. It’s like knowing that someone is doing something with their hands under a tabel with tablecloth. You know they’re fooling around but you can’t see exactly what they’re doing.
When I woke up this morning I was really tired of dreaming about these different children. Hearing them cry continuously and not being able to see what was happening or stop it drove me crazy. I felt helpless and surrounded by dirt.
Now, I’m scared of going to sleep because I don’t want to dream about them again.