That’s pretty much all I can say.
I was supposed to go out with my in-laws and something just changed when it got closer. I got really sad and then I started panicking about the whole thing. My husband was fine with me staying home but he was worried about me and it was like the more he pressed me on what was wrong, then angrier I got because I SO don’t want to talk about it.
I tried to say supportive things to myself internally-speaking because I don’t want any parts feeling like I’m already getting upset when nothing has been brought forth yet. I’m just not myself and my emotions are kind of out of wack.
I did manage to do what my therapist asked, which was to tell my husband about what happened when we were together last time. He was of course perfect about it which just makes me feel bad. I know stupid right?
That’s it. I just don’t feel right and I wanted to say it out loud kind of.
I’m thinking of all of you.
Oh! I should add that I saw the offical commercialization of sexual abuse, if that’s the right word. You know how they attorneys have those commercials, like, “If you took (insert drug name here) you could be entitled to money! Type commercials? Well I saw one today for…wait for it…sexual abuse. Yep. They didn’t yell about it, they made it all sad with low lights and serious looking boys, with a voiceover saying that they trusted their religious association or their councelor or some other organization that I can’t remember. then the voice comes on and says that the organzations who betrayed that trust should pay and if you or your child has been sexually abused, whether recently or in the past, you should call this law firm and they’ll take care it. A few weeks ago that type of commercial would never have been seen, and I’m not saying that people shouldn’t sue of course. What gets me is that it’s so blatant that the lawyers see a new way to make money and they’re hiding it under the guise of looking out for the victims. I thought it was low, even though people do need to know who to go to if they pursue that course.