I’m in contact with a few members from my father’s side of the family. There was no abuse there as my uncle is on my mother’s side. It seems like all the disgusting is on that side of the family. Anyway, an aunt sent me something that had some family pictures. It was neat because I hadn’t seen many of the relatives since I was very young. Some I don’t even know at all. As I was looking through it I was happy and I felt connected to this family even though they’re so far away.
Then in the blink of an eye, it changed. I saw many pictures of younger cousins I’ve never met as they’re children. I saw pictures of older cousins and uncles. And the images changed. Instead of seeing smiling little girls, I saw possible victims. Instead of uncles I saw child molesters. I looked at every picture and thought: Are they being abused? Is this family hiding secrets like my mother’s did?
All I could think was that pictures lie. If you look at pictures of my family, people are smiling (usually) but there were hideous things going on behind the scenes. Of course there are some pictures of my mother’s family with no smiles and I would wonder if I was seeing the truth in those pictures.
On my father’s side I questioned every grin, every embrace being shown. It changed the whole thing so that I had to put it down. I could see the faces of these little girls I don’t know and I kept wondering if the adult relatives on this side of the family would cover up incest if it was happening? I don’t know them well enough to know any of that.
The point is that all the nice, warm feelings turned into dark, evil, suspicions. Poof! Just like that, all the good stuff was gone.
I hate it because it happened but I hate it more because it could be true. It can happen in any family. I’d just like to believe that it doesn’t happen in most families.