Apparently your brain and body turn into mush when you don’t eat

I spent yesterday in bed. Over the course of the day I became less able to move. At one point I tried to get up and I had to brace myself on my arms and my arms were shaking. When my speech started to slur and my brain could no longer form cohesive sentences, I decided that I had to eat enough to function.

It sucked. I hated it, but the shakes got better and I was able to speak more intelligently towards the late evening.

Nothing is fixed. I weighed myself as I do everyday, I’m still recording every calorie and I’m still going to attempt to stick to my restrictions, but now I have to pay attention to my reactions a bit more. I asked my husband to pick up some Gatorade and I will water that down to control the calories.

Yes, yes, I will talk to my therapist about it this week…I can almost hear you guys *affectionate eye roll commencing*


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in dissociative identity disorder. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Apparently your brain and body turn into mush when you don’t eat

  1. Broken Girl says:

    I’m really sorry you’re struggling right now 😦 . Controlling your eating probably makes you feel more in control and it probably helps you avoid thoughts and feelings that make you uncomfortable (or your reasons may be different) . But it isn’t a real solution to whatever the problem is and it is not healthy for your body or mind. I know you already know that though. I think the eating issue is a good indicator that something in your life needs to be addressed. I hope you’re doing ok. I’m here if you need support 🙂 .

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Thank you for the support. I’m sure that my therapist will have something to say about it, but I’m not in the mood for her to just say, ” Hey, just stop it and eat.” It’s not that easy. We’ll see what she says…

      • Broken Girl says:

        I hear ya and I’m sure she won’t say that. I hope you don’t think I was implying that it’s easy to stop doing it. I’ve been there done that so I know it’s not. Keep your chin up 🙂 .

      • CimmarianInk says:

        Oh no, no I didn’t think that’s what you meant. I was thinking more about my therapist. She can be good about certain behaviors I fall into and she’ll talk about the in’s and outs. Sometimes though, she’s more like, “Don’t do that” and that’s all. I’m not going to appreciate it if she just tells me to stop it like it’s so easy to do.

  2. I’m sorry it’s so hard right now… eating does suck. Maybe trying not to count cals will help? That certainly made it easier for me in terms of eating more.

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi, I’m glad you were able to make things easier in this area. That’s really good. At this moment my mind is literally obsessed with keeping track of every single thing that goes into my mouth. I feel like I can’t stop it. I see my therapist this week so I’ll see what she says. Thanks for commenting. 🙂

  3. castorgirl says:

    Hi CI,

    I feel like a hypocrite for talking to you about food issues… But please know that I’m concerned about you, and only want to see you find out what is going on so it can be addressed.

    Sending you lots of mushieness,

    • CimmarianInk says:

      I know you’re concerned CG. It never occurred to me to think that you were being a hypocrite. I think it’s like so many things that we all go through. We can be experiencing similar situations and we want to help the other person even if we can’t extend that compassion to ourselves.

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