I don’t know if I fully realized how angry I am at my therapist. I know that during our last session, I was irritated and ambivalent but the anger didn’t really hit ’til later.
I spent the next several days after that session being pissed off and feeling unheard and I just ate whatever I wanted. I ate chips, and sweets and regular food too. I hated every mouthful and I could literally feel all the weight coming back, which of course it did. What I had managed to lose in 9 days came back in 3, well minus one little pound.
I’m still angry and I’ve stayed angry. I feel like she blew me off by giving the “speech”.
It was like she didn’t hear me, but I can’t tell you what she was supposed to hear. It just seems to me like she shouldn’t have jumped into the lecture without trying to get to the root of the problem that she claims exists. I feel like I was given the company line and then sent out the door with the assumption that all I needed was a “little talking to”.
It makes me feel…insulted I guess? Like what’s going on didn’t require more than a food pyramid speech.
As of this morning when I weighed myself, fully knowing just from the way I feel, that I had gained most of it back, I’m determined to go back to my way. My therapist doesn’t deserve to have me try her way because she didn’t listen or dig at all. I’m wondering if she patted herself on the back after I left, thinking that she had “fixed” me? The thought pisses me off.