I really appreciate all the support. You guys are constantly amazing. Seriously.
The good news is that my husband and I talked, really talked and things went well. There were misunderstandings and a lack of understanding how words sound and can be taken but we got all that worked out. And my therapist was right that the impulse to self-harm diminished after we talked.
My therapist says that this issue will come and go in our relationship but keeping communication going will help.
It wasn’t easy but when we’re not in sync neither of us functions very well.
I will say that I took my therapist’s advice to heart about trying to be intimate. I tried and we succeeded but I have to say that the whole production comes with a darkness for me now and that’s sad.
I may write about that another time. For now, peace to all of you.