My husband told me the other day that he was in a bad mood. He was tired from work and tired from some other responsibilities he has. He was listing them and he mentioned dealing with me as being a stressor and I felt bad.
I used to handle my multitude of mental and physical illnesses with absolute silence. He had no idea what was going on with me, ever, and it was like pulling teeth to get any information from me. I prided myself on not being a complainer.
I haven’t changed in that I still don’t complain, but my therapist has been encouraging me from day one to be more open and my husband confirmed that he wanted that as well. That equaled up to him asking if there was anything he needed to know that I had discussed in therapy, and me maybe, sort of saying something, to him asking how I’m feeling and me saying, “Meh” or “So-so” which were big deals to me since I prefer not to say anything.
I felt quite helpless in making him feel better. It’s difficult when there’s nothing I can do to fix anything. I like to fix things! But that can’t be done because it’s just life. People have to work and do things they don’t always enjoy. What can I say?
I did my best to be physically comforting which you have to know is not my forte. Patting his head and rubbing his back. That’s all I’ve got. I sent him an email today with some encouraging words. I’m out of ideas. He’s off on Monday so I told him I’d make breakfast. *Sigh*
What else can I do but pull back? My head is telling me that it’s time to go back to the way it used to be. Don’t tell him anything, and when he asks you how you are, go back to saying that you’re fine! You will always be fine!
It shouldn’t be too hard unless he pushes, which he might, but I’ll have to go back to acting again.
I don’t fear the work, only the effort it will take to deflect him because I’m already tired.
I have to be around large crowds for the next two days which will be awesome and it will give me a chance to put on a performance extraordinaire! Practice, practice.