A brief explanation of why I’m still stressing


As you saw I apologized for not being more active on some of your blogs and I just wanted to give an update to tell you why my brain is Swiss cheese right now.

I saw my therapist and told her all about what’s going on with my mother. I told her about the stuff she stole and how much I wanted it back and how bothered I was by the whole thing. She made a surprising suggestion, which was to see my mother in order to get what I wanted. I shuddered and my head started hurting but she made the point that people do a lot to get what they want. The question was how much do I want any of those items, like the photo albums. Well, I want them pretty damn bad.

My thought on the matter was to tell her to bring them so I can copy them and then return them to her husband after she’s gone. That’s the only way that she’ll see me. I would have her come to me because if she doesn’t show up with the albums she will not be coming into my house. She doesn’t know that because my therapist told me not to add any fire to the problem by demanding things or telling her that I have no intention of rescinding the no contact rule. I need to get what I want first. There’s no way I’d get the other items she stole back but my therapist thought that my request was reasonable.

Now I’m just waiting to hear if she’s going to do it. I’m nervous and sick and I hate this so much, but I just keep thinking about my grandmother’s pictures and I just want them.

I can’t concentrate on anything else until I know what’s going to happen and it’s ruining my week.

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in abuse, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to A brief explanation of why I’m still stressing

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    I am sorry that you are going through such turmoil. You are standing up for CI again, and that is commendable. Just imagine your blog sisters (and brothers?) standing beside you while you have your say with your mother. I will be there.
    Did you see Secret Life of Bees? (Or read the book?) I just saw it and there is a scene near the end (spoiler alert!) where the women come and stand behind Lily as she faces her father. That was so great. (I was jealous of Lily, though 🙂 ).

    I hope you get the photos back. And even if you don’t, you will know you tried. And your mother knows you want them, and maybe even if she holds that over your head someone else will also find out and become an assistant in your name.

    Photos ARE pretty important. How did we live without them back in the Dark Ages? (I guess they painted.)

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi Freasha,
      Thanks for being so supportive as I vacilate between what I want and what I need. I’ve seen/read the Secret Life of Bees but maybe I should. 🙂

      If you envied Lily for her friend’s support then just remember that you’ve got me in your corner as well. *hug*

  2. Broken Girl says:

    I’m hoping for the best for you with this situation and I hope it turns out the way you want- with you having the pictures and never having to see your mother again if you don’t want to! Fingers crossed 🙂

  3. meredith says:

    Thieves and scoundrels… why? When I read your posts, my head spins and I feel sick remembering the mementos I loved, my family could have cared less about, and now they exist somewhere…

    I’m so sorry, CI.

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