Ok I am officially freaking out. My mother’s husband said that he’ll get to the albums at another time as they’re in storage right now. It was stated as a non-negotiable fact. That means that the invitation to visit has already been extended and can’t be retracted but there are no photos until who knows when.
Secondly, I expected the visit to happen within the next day but now it looks like it won’t be until Tuesday which gives me plenty of time to have meltdown. My brain is imploding and I’m sinking into fear and anxiety. The desire to self-injure has arisen out of nowhere and I have no desire to fight it. My only hesitation is that I don’t know how to do the amount of damage I want to do without ending up on the floor bleeding out.