My mother’s brother has died. This is not the uncle who abused me (as far as I know he never did anything to me) but this is the brother that she said raped her when she was younger. I say that she “said” so only because she lies at other times so there has to be some doubt there on my part even though 98% of me believes her.
Our family is so twisted though because she acted like nothing happened with him. There was an incidence once when I said that he needed to quit smoking and I thought my mother was going to have a stroke from anger with me. She could hardly breathe she got so upset with me for saying that. She defended him and said that it was like taking drugs and he’d have withdrawal symptoms etc. like it was impossible for him to quit and how dare I say otherwise. This reaction made no sense to me as it was completely out of proportion to what I said. Oh, and there’s the fact that he f%$#ing raped her!
Why the hell would she react like that? In our family we pretend that things didn’t happen but I refuse to continue with the lies. It’s one of the reasons I cut her off. I refused to act like she didn’t physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse me and I refused to accept her abusive behavior that continued since I reached adulthood. She doesn’t get that because all she does is pretend that things didn’t happen. She didn’t abuse me…I’m just being sensitive…it’s part of our culture…whatever.
If she wants to lie to herself about her brother than so be it. She would be helped by therapy but she won’t acknowledge that she needs any kind of help. Now he’s dead. She had my stepfather call to tell us and I’m wondering how the hell she expected me to react? I don’t feel bad that he’s dead. He’s a f&%$ing rapist! He needed to die and I hope he suffered. I will not send condolences. I will not pretend that everything was ok. It wasn’t. Our family is sick.