My therapist gave me the choice to either help myself or get referred to an eating disorder clinic in the metro area miles away for intensive outpatient treatment.
I won’t do that so it’s up to me I guess. She gave me instructions on what to do, how to eat. She said I have to stop tracking calories and I freaked and started crying. Me. Crying.
I finally got it at that moment that this isn’t about food. Otherwise I wouldn’t have cried.
I’ll blog more later. Right now I’m dreading weighing in tomorrow and I’m having urges to cut again.
My meds are kicking in so I have to sleep now.