*food issues discussed*
I am beyond angry. I am beyond furious. Have you ever been so angry that you become still instead of shaking with it?
As of this morning I have gained 6lbs. SIX! SIX! Do you hear me!?
This is unacceptable. And I’m so angry. Angry at myself yes but also angry at my husband for thinking that I should be able to eat easily now so he takes me to restaurants that he knows have food I have trouble resisting. And I’m extremely angry at my therapist for pushing me to eat. You have no idea how angry I am with her.
Yes I put the fork to my mouth but I didn’t do it alone.
It’s done. I have to handle to damage I’ve done now. The rest of my week has to be about reversing what I’ve done.
As for my therapist…this may be the first time I’ve ever said this but, if she can’t accept where I am right now then we don’t need to see each other anymore.
She can’t force me into outpatient treatment and after the 6lb gain I’m back to being medically overweight again. Congratulations to me.
I’m done. And I also have to fight to get my self-control back. I was like a starving person presented with a buffet. I didn’t overeat, at least not the way normal people do…but the 6lbs is staring me in the face and I cannot deal with that. I won’t. I refuse. She can either handle it or we’re done.