I’m feeling rather morose and I’ve been thinking about what I want for myself next year. As the items came to my mind I realized that this is not a pretty list. It’s not nice, it’s actually quite…not nice.
But I don’t write this blog to spout platitudes and things I don’t mean. So here’s my list:
- I want to know once and for all if I was abused beyond the one incident with my uncle
- I want to remember
- I want to get thinner, much thinner
- I want my insurance company to stop being dicks about paying for tests
- I want my mother to die
- I want to stop having darkness surround thoughts of my grandmother
- I want to look as sick as I feel on the inside
I realize that I have little control over most things on this list, but I do have control over a few. If I had a sick genie I would ask him to grant my wishes. I may add or take away from list as the year goes on, we’ll see.