This story was rattling around my head a few days ago and I’d like to tell it because…well I want to. To me it’s a prime example of how dysfunctional things around me were.
We were at religious services, and that’s a really important part of this story for reasons that will become clear.
We had picked up a older gentleman my parents knew to give him a ride and he sat with us. I dress appropriately at religious services out of respect for why I’m there…knee length or longer skirts or dresses, no low-cut tops etc. And yes I have a reason for saying this. During the service I crossed my legs in my modest outfit. The man was sitting next to me and he was shifting in his seat. My mother (who was sitting on my other side so she couldn’t see anything) then proceeded to lean over and tell me to stop crossing my legs because I was giving the man an erection.
Yep, that happened.
I remember that I froze in absolute horror and I’m pretty sure that I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life. I became so still, I don’t think I moved for the next hour. I barely breathed because I was so horrified.
I don’t know why I wanted to tell this story but there it is. Maybe it’s because I think my mother is disgusting or maybe it’s because I wonder why, as an adult I get obsessed about my ability to give random men erections. I’ve written about that before…the way that I will see a man and wonder if I can arouse him. It bothers me. I don’t know if it started during this instance or not but it’s something that I don’t understand.
Well now that I’ve made everyone uncomfortable…