I find it sad that when I was asked to think of things about my mother to be put into her service, I had absolutely nothing that I could add concerning the two of us. Nothing. And I really thought about it, as much as one can while in shock. Nothing.
If I had been asked about my grandmother I could have filled a book. But my mother and I never bonded and my memories save one, are all negative. The only good one I have is about a game she played with my feet when I was very little, before everything went downhill, but it doesn’t belong in her memorial service. Actually as I wrote that, I remembered my other good memory…her buying me a doll I had wanted for a long time. She bought it with her tax return and I definitely remember that. Wow, two good memories for a lifetime.
Otherwise, I had to think of the surface and of the person that others knew in public and draw from that, something positive. I did it but, the tragedy of the lack of stories or memories I can share is…pathetic.