This may be really brief or longer than I expect.
I got my photos. Many of you who have followed my writing for long time know that my mother had stolen pictures after my grandmother died…pictures that meant the world to me. After my mother also died, I needed to have those photos of my family back and it killed me that my stepfather had them and kept procrastinating on giving them to me. Fast-forward to last month, he sent them! I have them back after almost 20 years. It was like getting pieces of my soul back.
The picture of the uncle who molested me is also in there, even though my mother had told me it wasn’t. That was validation #1 because when I saw it, the photo looked exactly as it always has in my memory. I remembered it correctly. I remembered him correctly. I remembered his wife correctly. I can remember these things! The memories are in there! I’m not crazy (at least in this area haha).
Validation #2 might be weird to some people; it depends on your experience.
I’ve known for a while that something is wrong with me health-wise. It’s been extremely frustrating to have painful symptoms with no answers. This week however, I got a diagnosis because something finally showed up in tests. After I left the doctor’s office I was actually jubilant, relieved and yes, validated. I’m not crazy (in this area lol), it’s not in my head (I knew it wasn’t). Then after the high of finally knowing wore off, I got weird…depressed or freaked or something, but that’s okay because it’s a normal response. Strangely I wished my mom was alive so that I could tell her. She would have wanted to know…to understand why I’ve been getting worse. But she’s not alive.
Hmmm…longer post than I anticipated. I wanted to reach out to all of you…yes I’m still here, still writing and still occasionally over sharing haha.