All Over The Place


I feel like this blog is going to be all over the place. Maybe it already has been. Sexual abuse, physical, emotional and mental abuse, bipolar disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, chronic illnesses both new and old, sexual abuse-related compulsive behavior… sometimes there’s a bunch of crap going on. Sometimes only a few of these things are outright bothering me at a given moment.

Jeez, I had to come back and edit this post to add my mother’s death to the list. Tells you how well my brain is working.

Today has been full of headaches, fatigue and annoyances. Then out of nowhere…sexually compulsive behavior, fantasies of abuse and even as it was happening I just started crying, without tears. I wailed…I was so sad and maybe scared too. It felt like it was about something deeper, I just don’t know what. I mean I can figure out on my own that it concerns my uncle but the specifics elude me.

I just wanted to document this whole stupid day so maybe if I come to understand it in the future I can look back at this with some clarity.

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Child Molestation, Incest, PTSD, Rape, Self-injury, Sexual Abuse, Trauma and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to All Over The Place

  1. Faith says:

    I didn’t know how to leave a comment to you the other day so I did so on my blog. I figured out how to get over here and thought I’d tell you that I wrote an entry to comment. I just want you to know that what you wrote is more common than you might think. It doesn’t make you sick.
    I used the link
    http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2015/08/03/gong-over-abuse-repeatedly/

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