Loss Of a Therapist

My therapist just emailed me tonight to tell me that she’s been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She’s retiring immediately and closing her practice, effective right now. I’m in shock. She’s been my therapist for 14 years through the most difficult revelations of my life. I’m so heartbroken for her….

She’s already spoken to another experienced therapist who can see me but the loss is profound. I’m more concerned about her than me and I can’t help her. I’ve already had to medicate myself because I started panicking.

I don’t know what else to say at the moment.


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Child Molestation, DID, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sexual Abuse, Therapy and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Loss Of a Therapist

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    Oh CI, I am so, so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, and for your therapist. Pancreatic cancer is so deadly, and it leaves one so little time to finish. This is profoundly awful.

    We just don’t know how much life we have left, no matter who we are.

    You might want to be sure to get your records, if you can. It may seem meaningless at the time, but it could be helpful later on.

    Try to focus on the likeliness that things will ease up with time. I know this has to be a stunning blow. I am so sorry.

  2. KK says:

    I never comment but I am heartbroken both for you and your therapist. I am sincerely broken fr you since this is a devastating loss, and for your loss and her loss. There is no way to access the same connection after all this time. you must be reeling. I send you virtual hugs ((())) from someone in therapy too who could not even conceive of this kind of loss. Hang in there. And that’s such a lame ending I apologize.

  3. plf1990 says:

    Oh, god. How utterly awful. I am so sorry for you, and so sorry for her. There just isn’t anything else I can say. I’m so sorry.

  4. Faith says:

    My first reaction to hearing that you got an email saying this was that she was wrong to email this kind of news. I shook my head in disbelief while reading it. Then I read the first comment and thought, dang that was unfeeling. After taking a breath I understood 2 important things.

    1 the therapist is human and she is in shock.

    2 the first comment shared why such an abrupt retirement is necessary. Time.

    What she has is vicious. It is truly vicious. She is in a race to get her house in order while trying to wrap her brain around this. The injustice of it must weigh heavily on her.

    I’m just a reader and my emotional response was all over the place with this. I can only imagine what she feels and what you feel. I am truly sorry, truly.

    As the comment above expressed, time is of the essence with such a vicious enemy attacking her. She must be so scared maybe angry. It is a terrible blow to her and all who love her.
    I am so sorry this has happened.


  5. Andi says:

    Wow, I am so deeply sorry. Both for you and for your therapist. This is shocking, awful news. Thinking about you and sending much support xx

  6. Faith says:

    If I offended you I am truly sorry. I didn’t intend to over step boundaries. My response was out of shock but was not meant to be hurtful. If I have offended you please don’t be angry with me forever.
    It is always your discretion what will be posted and what will not. I respect that and would do the same if a comment didn’t sit right with me. I don’t desire to add to your difficulties.
    With concern

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi Jordan, 🙂 don’t worry, I hadn’t seen either of your comments until now when I checked my notifications and please don’t worry about anything you said! I was not remotely offended in any way, shape or form, promise! You guys are amazing for even reading my ramblings and I always want you all feel free to express yourselves. I’m in shock, she’s in shock…I haven’t even worked out my feelings yet. I already have an appointment next week with the therapist she recommended and I know I’ll be posting about that too.

      Keep your comments coming and say whatever you like or whatever you feel. *hugs*

  7. Faith says:

    I was big time worried. I’m happy I didn’t add to your stress.

    Yes, your “ramblings” are read… and thought about.
    I find it very interesting how much multiples have in common nearly across the board. The photos and you efforts to get them (you) back is only one example.

    Your journal isn’t full of drama and sensationalism. When I read I know you are like many, a woman with DID and other stuff, trying to keep her head above water. You have the kind of honesty in your entries that others can relate to. You are not running a sideshow blog. Your honesty and public vulnerability encourages others to risk. When we all connect and share and risk then we create a virtual support team.
    You’re doing well, keep going.
    I hope the appointment with the new therapist goes well.
    We will be listening for your voice,
    Jordan 🙂

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Thank you so much! My blog wouldn’t exist if people didn’t read it, so I’m grateful because you guys have allowed me to have a place to share and keep a record of what’s happened. If I help anyone along the way it’s worth it. 🙂

  8. Broken Girl says:

    I feel so devastated for you, CI. That’s a lot to try to wrap your head around and come to terms with. I feel incredibly sad for your therapist as well. Cancer is a terrible disease, especially pancreatic. It’s just a horrible situation all around. You’re in my thoughts.

  9. Blackdaria says:

    Just checking in to see how you are doing

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi Blackdaria, thank you so much for checking. I wrote my therapist a goodbye email and I’ve basically been falling apart. I will probably blog about it soonish.Thank you. 🙂

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