All Stopped Up


I think there must be such a thing as emotional constipation. That’s what I’m going to call this. I am completely stopped up! Emotionally. I am frozen. I can’t do anything I like or enjoy and it’s not even depression. I’m not eating enough but it’s more like I forget or I lose my appetite but it’s not intentional. I’m not knitting, or blogging, or reading books or playing games. The biggest shock to me came yesterday though after therapy when I realized that I haven’t thought my mom in…days? A week? I don’t even know! It’s like I forgot about her or I forgot that I forgot! 

I think I’ve shutdown something inside of me or lots of things inside of me in a way I haven’t done before and I didn’t even realize it. It’s actually really scary now that I see it.

So I’m sorry that I’ve been gone. I’ve got some therapy homework to do that will be extremely dark and unpleasant but maybe it will wake me back up again!

Hang in there with me guys!

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About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in dissociative identity disorder and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to All Stopped Up

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    I have been thinking of you, even if you haven’t been blogging. Thank you for letting us know where you are at. Is it like numbness? I know that sometimes the SSRIs can create this state of mind. Not a fun thing.
    Keep your chin up (whatever that means!). I hope you can make it out the other side of this soon. Big hug in the mean time. And best wishes on your explorations of the dark. Keep your therapist on speed dial.

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