Need Help With Some Statistics For Next Week’s Therapy

I realized today that my therapist insulted me during our session this week. Well, not me specifically but my culture. About 99% of the time I identify as just a human being and I don’t feel the need to separate myself from others by race or nationality but my therapist made a statement that sexual abuse is rampant in my culture as if it was so different from everyone else’s. She tagged on some statement about talking to someone of my race and finding out they had a friend or something who had three children with someone but had never married the father and how that was so outside of her experience and I felt like my mouth wanted to fall open.

It was insulting. Sexual abuse happens in all cultures, which she agreed with when I stated that, but she was implying that it happens differently and in some sort of more insidious way in mine. I feel that I can’t let that assumption stand. I also just remembered that she’s over 70 years old which I didn’t know until two weeks ago, so maybe she’s dealing with generational issues *insert eye roll here* ugh.

So, do you any of you know any statistical numbers on sexual abuse in different cultures or something like that or places I could get that data? I’d like to have some facts to show her that kids are pretty much victims of hell everywhere sheesh!


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Child Molestation, Incest, Sexual Abuse and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Need Help With Some Statistics For Next Week’s Therapy

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    I don’t follow such things, but I suspect that you are correct. It hits me that she made a big boo boo. Sounds like she took a page from the playbook of the candidate I call “Rump”. [Eww, there is a picture of him- and an ad- just a ways up from here at the end of your post!] [And forgive me if you disagree on this one.] [How deep am I digging?]
    Anyway, what does it matter, if one or another culture is “rampant”. Each experience stands on its own. It does sound like she generalized from talking to this woman she mentioned. The few women whose blogs I have followed on this topic, (I think you have read them, too) I believe are not of “your” culture. But that is anecdotal, as was her observation. Good for you for bringing it up. It can’t hurt to get a bit deeper with her. She should be glad you are calling her on it.

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Exactly Freasha and you can always speak your mind here 🙂 I definitely feel from all of mine and your real world discussion with the people we’ve known, abuse is everywhere in all spheres and no one has a higher rate; rich, poor, color, nationality…none of that matters. People say really dumb things.

  2. turq says:

    don’t have stats but even if i did i’d say they need qualifying. as a youngster i was told by even fairly liberal teachers that ‘aboriginals have a culture of child sex, they see it as normal for an old guy to sleep with little girl’. it now turns out loads of kids in my own white culture were being meddled with, we just didn’t realise it was a big deal because our culture didn’t tell us it was a big deal. i believe the perception of difference was a lot about racism, but based in significant part on the fact aboriginal cultures were subject to observation in a way that ‘norm’ cultures weren’t- police/mental health/social workers as ”problematising’ ‘their’ behaviour, and sociologists trying to effectively validate it. (it also applies in a way that people assume abuse as a child=mental health difficulties/imprisonment/addiction, just because lots of people that then have these issues have that background, which means a) all those who get through it are ignored b)criminals/addicts get away with bleeding heart treatment because there’s an assumption they’ve been through stuff and c) if you’ve been one of the majority who got through stuff fine but then develop an issue from a different issue, there is limited ability from mh/the system professionals to deal with the issues you actually DO have. meh.
    but anyway, the bigger issue here is that your therapist was inappropriate, not just in the racism, but in the use of anecdote to imply statistical averages (which a professional should know not to do), and esp in a way that kinda invalidates your experience. i’ve had some pretty crappy stuff happen in therapy because my unique ethnicity wasn’t recognised, but i’m seething hearing this.
    my instinct would be to complain- it’s just really not OK, but if things are otherwise working for you maybe you need to book time with her to do a version of ‘the talk’. and i really reckon you shouldn’t have to pay for that- this is about her issues, not about your relationship with her.

    • Natalya says:

      I agree with your perspective. Having studied sociology and social work in university I found the literature basically says racial minorities have more dysfunctional behaviours–BUT only because white people tend to get their behaviours less examined by the “experts”. That doesn’t hold true for white poor people but whites with even modest incomes can get away with more stuff than racial minorities of similar economic status. It’s a matter of the “experts” typically belonging to the dominant culture (white educated middle-upper class) and thus being ‘blind’ to their own people’s dysfunctions. Racial minorities and poor whites are already ‘flagged’ as “high risk” in social work and medical professions; hence the closer attention paid to racial minorities even when it’s not called for. I’m white but I see my white privilege and don’t mind having other white people annoyed with me for pointing it out. It will take more racial minorities being ‘experts’ among the whites to have any meaningful shift in how certain people(racial minorities and poor whites) are automatically categorized as ‘high risk’ just for being a part of a particular group. Racism is embedded (systematic) in the medical professions-especially any area pertaining to mental health/addictions. Many don’t even recognize it so remain oblivious to racism (especially if it’s less overt and more covert like it is for many racial minorities).
      Bottom line: white therapists are going to make racial blunders unless they are very socially conscious or have taken ‘sensitivity training’. Usually they aren’t even aware of the blunder and mean no intentional offence by it but that doesn’t make it right either.

      • CimmarianInk says:

        Hi Natalya, you put that very well! It’s exactly that; the availability of real data and the willingness to actually get honest data. It saddens me greatly to have a therapist, who I’m supposed to trust, that is secretly or not so secretly judging my entire race based on biased beliefs that she’s not even aware of.

        Of course I’m paying for my 45 minutes so I don’t know if I have the time to re-educate her and honest that isn’t my job; I’m the patient.

        I really appreciated your thorough comments and I’ll probably share yours and everyone else’s thoughts with her at least briefly.

  3. Mark kent says:

    i get your very good blog

    i was abused as a child

    my blog http;//

    people do NOT see the EVERY DAY EFFECTS

    please reply if you would like to


  4. Blackdaria says:

    It could be a deeper reason why she is asking, so I wouldn’t put her off just yet. Just talk with her some more to get a deeper understanding. It might not happen right away but it will.

  5. Blackdaria says:

    Yes she is, because that is not true at all. I thought she was going into something else that’s why I said that, but guess not.

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Yeah I told her that wasn’t true but didn’t waste my session on rebuttals. She wasn’t trying to be insulting she was actually basing it off of slavery separating families and having an effect on families today so I just let it go.

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