I’m thinking about tea. My autoimmune disease has been flaring very badly for over a month. I just had surgery five days ago, but right now, I’m thinking about tea.

I’m drinking a cup of Sleepytime Tea, you might know the blend. My mom used to give it to me when I was a child. You know what I’m wondering? Why did my mom need to give me Sleepytime Tea all the time? It’s soothing; it’s meant to calm. People drink it in the evening to wind down, to help with sleep. I was a child, why did I need it?

I’m just having a random thought while drinking the tea I remember my mom giving me. My feelings are coming back. They’ve been coming back for maybe two days? I remember that I had a mom now. I’m sad again but I can probably do things that I enjoyed again too so that’s a positive. It is, it really is.

It would be nice if I didn’t feel like death though. My body is getting worn out from my lymph nodes being swollen and my lungs hurting when I breathe; my ribs hurt and I feel like I have the flu every day all day long. I’ve lost weight. I get hit with fatigue like a freight train. The medication I was given to treat the symptoms hasn’t worked. I don’t know how long it will take to recover from the surgery so that’s in addition to what was already going on. 

I’m going to drink my tea.


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depression, Incest, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sexual Abuse, Toxic Parents, Trauma and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Tea

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    HI CI,
    How are you doing now? Better, I sure hope.
    But the elections this week have really made a deep wound in everybody I know. Even I, am getting triggered by the news. I might have to have a news black out for about 4 years.
    Anyway, I have been thinking about you, and hope you are OK.

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi Freasha, you’ve been on my mind as well; I feel as if I’m failing everyone who reads my blog. I have things to write but maybe I’m avoiding, I’m not sure. And yes, the entire world seems to be anxious and it’s ramping up the anxiety in each other even more. Healthy coping techniques seem really important right now yikes. I really need to get my crap together and post so I’m glad you checked in. I really have been thinking of you. 🙂

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