I always do this. I always think that unless I have a novel to post I can’t post anything here. I need to get over that because I know I onlt have maybe 3 of you left who even read this thing anymore!
I could blame myself but honestly I can pass the buck in a way. I had NO idea how much my interim therapist killed my inside until my last few sessions with my new and wonderful therapist. I adore her. I look forward to seeing her. My parts are back and one of them, Nicole, the part that has held so much of my anger and how now evolved, she was so ready to come out and talk to our new therapist she almost didn’t wait until we got into the office.
I feel more connected inside. I can’t believe it. So much damage was done you guys!!! Oh my goodness. I’ve got repair work to do because of this last therapy disaster. I should have taken better care of myself but I was intimidated and overly optimistic.
I’ve had some rough bipolar moments too that I should write about…things requiring trigger warnings. Maybe later.
I missed you guys. I’m sorry I lost so many of you. I can’t say that I’m really all the way back YET because as I told my therapist, part of me died in this last process and I need to come back and get myself together. My writing, the writing inside me that made me who I am…died… it’s gone and I’m trying to dig for the buried strings and clean them off and see if I can grasp them again and hold on. They’re there I just need more time. Ugh. Guys there was so much damage! Ugh!!!!!!! I’m here. I’m here.