An Interesting Approach To Working With Alters

I’m often glad when I say something in therapy that reveals I’ve misunderstood something that my therapist has said. It tends to, no, it always makes both of us stop with wide eyes, shake our heads in confusion and then look at each other like we’re both aliens before realizing that apparently we need to start over clarify an important point.

This situation happened during our session this week and it was very important because it was holding up my progress.

My therapist has asked me for a long time now to try and identify my various parts, at least to the best of my ability. I have strong impressions of some and I do outright know some of them. I’ve been afraid though. I told her that I am afraid, me, the core personality that’s usually here. I wanted her to really get that I have my own feelings that needed to be acknowledged apart from all of this dissociation stuff.

My fear was coming from the assignment of needing to identify my parts. I was afraid that if I delved into that I would also discover why they exist; I would see their memories, things I may not be ready for yet. I was afraid that I would start reliving trauma, things like that. I thought I’d get lost in all of that darkness.

I told her about my fears and assumptions and she was really surprised because I hadn’t understood what work she wanted me to do and what work she wanted us to do together.

Her thought was only very surface for me. Just identify the part on a surface level really. It’s more like, okay there’s an 8 year old…oh hmmm, there’s a part that doesn’t speak, she’s maybe 5 years old okay…etc but I don’t need to go further into the why’s or anything.

What she wants me to do then is to stop. I do all other work only with her during our therapy sessions so she can be with me/us and talk to us, listen, watch or stop things and bring it back to safety if things are going too far.

I’ve never done any real work with my alters. There’s never been a program or a method so-to-speak so I didn’t understand what she was thinking and she couldn’t envision anyone even thinking they’d have to do trauma work at home alone so it didn’t occur to her to really spell out extra, single detail.

Communication people! Haha!

I’m actually excited. Feeling vulnerable but excited. We’ll see how things start out. First I have to start with identifying my parts. Hmmm…


About CimmarianInk

Abuse Survivor Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) also known as Multiple Personalities
This entry was posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Therapy, Trauma, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to An Interesting Approach To Working With Alters

  1. Freasha1964 says:

    How’re you doing CI? I never (till now) commented on this post but I have kept it in my inbox. Have you been having any good progress with this approach that you were beginning in this blog? I have been wondering, for sure, how you are. You needn’t keep on blogging regularly for my sake or any others’. We all go through new phases and sometimes leaving the old behind works best. But if you care to give a little report, I wouldn’t complain.
    Hugs to you!

    • CimmarianInk says:

      Hi! Oh my goodness, your comment means everything 1) because you mean a lot to me, you probably don’t know that and 2) I needed to be pulled back here. I’ve been constantly sick with the flu and then other illnesses and other ones but I can still post an update! I’m going to put a reminder in my calendar for tomorrow, thank you Freasha!!!!❤

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