Tag Archives: blog

Waking up disturbed, trying to relax and feeling disconnected


I woke up this morning and was pretty disgusted with myself for indulging in compulsive behavior recently. I think for a while I kind of just gave up and thought that since I’m a slut I might as well enjoy … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depersonalization, depression, derealization, DID, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Intimacy, Multiple Personalities, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Recent session and no changes


My therapist wanted to talk about the collages I sent her; the ones with the guns in them. It was actually very interesting because after having known me for 10 years, it didn’t come out until yesterday that I always … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depression, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, suicidal ideation, Therapy, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Here comes my friend Pain


The last couple of replies I wrote to comments probably sound stupid but I’m kind of in a weird head space right now. I had therapy today and I brought up the subject of my uncle and asked if I was … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, depression, DID, dissociative identity disorder, Incest, Multiple Personalities, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Therapy | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Scared of therapy tomorrow


With all of this stuff about my mother, I’m scared of what will come up in therapy tomorrow. As most of you know, my therapist has been out-of-town for a very long time so this will be my first session … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Incest, neglect, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , | 9 Comments

When you lose something you never thought you could


For my entire life I had one bright spot that I could think about and remember: my grandmother and the safety I had when with her. She was the one person who always believed in me and loved me unconditionally. … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Incest, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Dreams and other annoyances


I’m still being weaned off of one of my meds, by next week I should be off of it completely and we’ll see if that eventually helps the lupus. I’ve been dreaming about my mother ever since she contacted me … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Child Abuse, Dreams, Medication, Mental Health, Psychiatry, Therapy | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Old issues arise and never being able to escape them (ties in with the previous collage)


Well I’m back from my trip. I’d like to say that it was fantastic but it was more stressful than I anticipated. I did have a good time here and there but during the trip I was confronted with an … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, Alters, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , , , | 7 Comments